We used to make the haunted houses in the garage, but, in the summer so no one expected it. You are dead? THE MAITLANDS: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE? I took a very big risk with this place. BARBARA: We are! (Instrumental with screams layered as BEETLEJUICE is unleashed.). This . I had a vision once. So, I have an idea. BEETLEJUICE: THAT IS THE SOUND, OF CLEAN, WHITE, SHORTS TURNING BROWN, LYDIA: THE SOUND OF A SCREAM, IS MUSIC TO ME, A SOUND THAT SAYS FIFTEEN YEARS FULL-TIME THERAPY, BEETLEJUICE: TRAUMA AND FEAR, IT SINGS IN MY EAR, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: AIN'T IT THE SWEETEST NOISE AROUND, THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND. With a lovely family inside. Maxie Dean will be here for dinner in two days. My name is Lydia Deetz. Someones gonna get killed! BARBARA: You were right. But she was talking about us. Unless I am paid upfront in cash, and learned that the hard way. (a beat.) IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF MOTHERLY PANIC, AREN'T YOU CREATING A WAY OF TRANSLATING THE TERROR, HIDING AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE BEING A BAD MOM, ADAM AND BARBARA: SOON ENOUGH, OUR HOPES AND OUR DREAMS WILL BE CRUSHED. Except for you, Dead Mom. Im gonna say it! ADAM: Okay, that Wasn't as much fun as I thought it'd be ADAM: We are not kombucha people. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, I don't live here, I'm dead! Wheres Lydia? Okay, new plan. That never happens. ADAM: CHEFS WHO USE TOO MUCH SAGE WHEN THEY MAKE BEURRE NOISETTE, BEETLEJUICE: WELL, THERE'S LOTS THERE TO USE, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST PRIMAL SCREAM, BEETLEJUICE: TRY IT AGAIN MAYBE THIS TIME PRETEND LIKE YOU MEAN IT. Now, to the Prius! Im gonna teach you guys how to be ghosts! GOOD OLD FASHIONED WEDDING WITH SOME DANCING AND UN-DEADING. All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. What do I always say about doubt? BEETLEJUICE: No. Were not like you! Netherworld. CHARLES: Im glad you like it. BEETLEJUICE: No, she did! The musical held its final performance on March 11, 2020, after Broadway and New York City's biggest . ANY GHOST CAN DO THAT IN LESS THAN ONE LESSON. First published Apr 06, 2020. DELIA: Lydia, we talked about this sad, saddy, sadness stuff, yeah? LYDIA: Classic Bait and Switch, Oldest trick in the book! And he's to blame. Mr. Juice, I respect your resistance and your Moxy. Do you think you would mind leaving and never coming back? BEETLEJUICE: (gasp) Keen observation Adam. Were going to play a little game! This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! Welcome to MsMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dance Scenes in '80s Movies. Adorable! And also, I dont model anymore. We want to help you! Take care of them. Ah! JUNO: My name is Juno! Alone. Adam, youre boring. MAXIE DEAN: Great idea, Im famished. Look at you. Trust me, its going to get weird, but itll work. Got any references? Beetlejuice (v.o) (laughs to himself) you are a naughty man. All recently deceased individuals, form a line! Broadway's "SCREAMINGLY GOOD FUN!" (Variety) musical comedy is now haunting houses all across the country!Based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film, BEETLEJUICE tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing for stripes. Thats great! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD. It has to stop. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! I dont wanna die! But together, well make him see! Youre still breathing arent you? CHARLES: Delia Schlimmer, will you do me the honor of signing a prenuptial agreement and be my second wife? But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! AGHHHHHH! LYDIA: I have a mother! LYDIA: Yeah, you said Stop acting so weird, I need this job., DELIA: No! The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. I don't even like pottery! Everyone here would go back if they could! OTHO: So glad that you asked. BEETLEJUICE (THE MAITLANDS): SCREW THEIR PHONES! Beetlejuice the Musical Script by Jesse. Thats great! NEIGHBOR: Hello?! DELIA: Doubt. Step 4: Select a monologue. BEETLEJUICE: ZOOBY DOOBY DOOBY, DOOBY DOP AND BOW! Oo! We were told living people ignore the strange and unusual. Hold on! Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. So! BEETLEJUICE: There you go, kid. Im ready for some people to die. Based on Tim Burton's 1988 wonderfully demented film, Beetlejuice The Musical follows Lydia Deetz - a strange and unusual teenager whose life takes an unexpected turn when she meets the former owners of her house - who just happen to be dead - and a degenerate demon from the Netherworld. I can no longer stand to be used like a puppet between two deceitful worlds. Live a life of love! I am utterly alone. Research Playwrights, Librettists, Composers and Lyricists, See more characters from CHARLES: I am very good at sex. I am utterly alone. One of the reasons Beetlejuice's Lydia is an icon is her style. So! Well, I should probably get going. Scarecrow. But you wanted your mommy. LYDIA: I just need one of you to open it! DELIA: Lydia, look, I know that youre upset, but maybe this is meant to be. BEETLEJUICE: Well then, go fuck yourself. LYDIA: A SOUND THAT MEANS NO MORE CONDESCENDING ADULTS HANGING AROUND, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: EACH WAIL AND EACH MOAN. ~ You had met Lydia Deetz online on social media, and found out that she was moving into your town. CHARLES: LOOK AT ME! She needs somebody to help her get past all this. BARBARA: That needy pervert was right. CHARLES: Dont say that. it is my job to help transfer you out of the overwhelming emotional life, and into the blissful numbness and soothing solitude that awaits you in the infinite abyss of nothingness that is the Netherworld. She held her lip between her teeth and went to find him at once. Smash. (laughs.). YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, GIRL I GOT YOUR BACK, GIRL I'M HELPING YOU GROW", TIME TO TAKE COMMAND YOU DICTATE THE HAND THE UNIVERSE DEALS. JUNO: I shouldve guessed youd be mixed up in all of this! Because of her, I got to live, briefly, very briefly, and can I just say something? DELIA: Oh, shes so stubborn, I just need more time. Im Barbara, this is Adam. Before Juno sees you. The doubts his . IN THE WORLD, BE PREPARED TO TAKE YOUR EGGS AND FREEZE 'EM , DELIA: 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS, LYDIA: SOUNDS LIKE TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN. There's lots of cool stuff in there! BEETLEJUICE Isnt this amazing? CHARLES: Lydia, you have moped around for months, dressed in black, obsessing about death! But Lydia, you cant live like this! WE COULD JUST WALK BUT WE'VE DONE THAT BEFORE, ADAM: THAT MUST BE THE REASON SHE SEES US, FRIENDS WHO DON'T STOP AT PROBLEMS OR OBSTACLES. It was like the perfect dad joke! Yeah. ** The ghost-with-the-most is coming to life on stage in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film of the same . ADAM: Im sorry, I have to say it, this house is not stupid. Im the perfect person to help you battle your ghost. (an idea.) ), BEETLEJUICE: HEY ITS GREAT THAT YOU ATE UP MY PLAN, NOW THE POOCH HAS BEEN SCREWED AND THE SHIT HIT THE FAN, BEETLEJUICE: YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG BOOK. Knock three times. Sayonara. I call it The Soulbox. Teen And Up Audiences. LYDIA: Dead Mom? Now, lets get you processed. OTHO: Let me say it (dramatically) DEATH! LYDIA: The ghosts! LYDIA: Yeah, me too. LYDIA: You know what? JUNO: STOP! LYDIA: What? LYDIA: My whole life is a dark room. Hey, I get it! Then you won't believe how far I'll go. NO! Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. BARBARA: Adam! Wait, why aren't you dancing? ONE DAY YOU MAY WAKE UP ALONE, DELIA: 'CAUSE YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS BOYFRIEND BOUGHT A BOAT AND THEN THEY SAILED AWAY TO ROME, DELIA: SO YOU CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP IN DEEP DESPAIR, TALKIN' TO THE WALLS 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE THERE, 'CAUSE THAT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO HAVE A FAMILY, THAT YOUR AGING ASS WILL HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT , A LITTLE "I AM STILL YOUNG!!!" MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. Both movie and musical have the same bones, yet there are many differences that change everything from minor details to major motivations. 4) "JAG" 18) The film "Beetlejuice" ended with Lydia dancing to what song? CHARLES: Where is the shrimp? I orbit. No he wont, youll just be dead. Every single time I finally feel like I start to belong, its Goodbye Delia Youre out of the band Delia Vishnu doesnt need more disciples Delia!. I hope theres a dead therapist somewhere that can give him the help he needs. Just put me in the game. Never change! No one is like me! The musical may still be called Beetlejuice; but, this time around, Lydia's the star. OTHO: Please! I am angry! (ADAM kisses BEETEJUICE. The show opened in April 2019 at the Winter Garden Theatre but, just under a year later, the pandemic shuttered it prematurely. I was in a sweat lodge. But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? Charles! BEETLEJUICE: WOO! LYDIA: I really like you guys. ENSEMBLE: Daylight come and we wan' go PASTOR: (spoken) In times like these, we have no words We have only each other Today we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz Devoted wife . Up the stairs! Lydia doesnt have my resilience. LYDIA: WAY BACK WHEN I WAS JUST TEN SIMPLE AND SWEET, EVERYWHERE, FELLAS WOULD STARE OUT ON THE STREET, LYDIA: NOW ONE OF 'EM LOVES ME, WANTS TO BE MINE, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY, MY CREEPY OLD GUY, BARBARA/DELIA: GIRLS MAY SEEM DISGUSTED, BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY JUST SHY, BEETLEJUICE: I AM OLDER, BUT I'M GLAD I WAITED, ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY. BEETLEJUICE: Theyre taking it to the dump and without me theyre going to do that to everything! Otho : [while Lydia shows them the attic] Fabulous. February 27, 2020 7:07pm. I designed it to reflect wealth, sophistication, and above all-. BARBARA: Yeah! But, its true, I was kicked in the head by a dressage horse. Im not buying it, time to die! (a beat.) Now lets hurry up and leave this god forsaken house. BEETLEJUICE: DON'T YOU WANNA SEE DAD SUFFER? BEETLEJUICE: DID I SAY NETHERWORLD? Do you mind if we all share this house! SO WE MIGHT AS WELL WALK THROUGH SOME WALLS, 'CAUSE ADAM, WE'RE READY AS WE'LL EVER GET, I GOTTA GET RIGHT OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. I brought you a pie?! Hi there. Oh my god! BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! You died together. But what if it doesnt last? Ive never felt this before. You old swaddler! Club members can see a different show every night of the week! Yes, its been very creepy. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, thank you very much. Im bringing my mom back! Then I guess theres no rush! You brought him to life, just so you could kill him? MAXIE DEAN: Oh, dont mind her. I never said-, LYDIA: You never say ANYTHING! LYDIA: You wouldnt listen dad. LYDIA: Okay. Its the last day of their entire lives and this is what theyre talking about! BEETLEJUICE: Nice moves Lydia! CHARLES: A BEAUTIFUL BUNCH OF RIPE BANANA, ALL: LIFT SIX FOOT, SEVEN FOOT, EIGHT FOOT BUNCH, CHARLES: Maxie! CHARLES: That demon with the stupid hair, hell be waiting for us. Theyre in the room with us. 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