Youre getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didnt do anything the night before. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. I can get my son to do it. While waiting for the farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their pen. That's when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband's head. You know youre getting older when you have a party and the neighbors dont realize it. He enters the living room and yells again Honey, whats for supper? No answer. "Where did you go? Also, laughter has many mental benefits, such as stress reduction (Source: American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine). When I visited recently, I asked the woman at the front desk about a senior discount. "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said. T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M? Sharon McGinley. "Don't worry," she said. She walked out of the doctor's office, started across the street, and was hit and killed. She said, "Hot diggity dog, I will have myself fixed up." The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. "I'm almost 60 years old." He approached the window and saw that there were 5 old ladies in the car that looked shocked and pale. ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. "But when I said I wanted to be ten again, I meant my dress size. WebJokes About Getting Old And Forgetful. I can look you dead in the face while your talking and not hear a damn word you said! Congrats on proving that getting older doesnt mean getting wiser. For. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave.". Finally, he stands right behind her and asks Honey. His wife shouted back, No, the only thing we have is Medicare and Blue Cross.. ""No, no, no, the the red one, you know, with with thorns.A rose?Aha! Happy birthday! 3. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today? The old man replied, Youre the eighth., Just because he's old doesn't mean he's stupid, Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. He said he didn't know. His thoughtful reply: When I wasnt good, and I wasnt old. F. 14. They say everything gets better with age. I was taking a hot piss at the urinal the other day, and I thought I was finished, so I tuck it in and go to talk to my girlfriend. They make a visit to the doctor, who does a thorough check-up, before telling them that there's nothing to worry about, and that this is just a symptom of getting older. Youre getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. "Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. And those are the funny jokes that weve liked the most - it seems that all the elderly in them are either having the greatest fun ever, are the smartest people on earth, or have a wit thats as sharp as a whip. Youre old that the Dead Sea was only sick when you were born. T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?. He said he wanted to see my drivers license. replied the little old man. Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbors cows! One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. 17. As I was taking out my ID, my Blockbuster card fell out. 16. Did you know that laughing is thought to help you live longer? This happened for several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, and then leave. She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous. Your age because it goes up "Definitely," he says. Hes a fun guy. Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. What do stars and dentures have in common? I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to tinkle., The eighty-year old man says, My case is worse. Sure when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she's a "goddess" but when I do it I'm "drunk" and no longer welcome at the aquarium! The doctor asked, What can I do for you? The man said, Doctor, Will you watch us have intercourse? The Doctor looked puzzled but agreed. The man leading them around said, See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? Decorate your laptops, water bottles, notebooks and windows. Web3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. I stared in amazement at my homebody grandma. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. "What are you doing?" 21. White or transparent. I make more then $12,000 a month online. The waitress asked kindly, Crushed nuts? No, he replied, Arthritis., You know youre getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Dad wasnt sold: Unless youre including a periscope with my casket, I dont know how Im going to enjoy it.. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is holding onto the safety bar in the bathroom. Read the funniest jokes about getting old. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Poof! Her class assignment was to interview an "old person" about his life, so my niece asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?" Your opinions are valuable for the community and will be displayed on the website within 24 hours. Then he began to gather her information. "We'd like to register for our wedding gifts here, please. A Doctor came by and said, Let me help you. The Doctor piled several pillows on the left side of the old man so he would stay upright. Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them. One of them, Frank, gushes over a restaurant he had taken wife to the previous weekend to celebrate their 60th anniversary.You have to take your wife there, the service is excellent, the food was delicious, it was honestly the best restaurant experience Ive ever had.His friend, impressed, asks him what the name of the restaurant is.Frank replies Um Ugh I cant remember. After thinking about it for a couple of minutes he says, Hey, wait, whats the name of that, that flower? How about my misspent youth, joked my husband. Someone who will wear something just to look different, I said. Thomas Clements, "One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four elderly women. The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. 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Two brothers, 7 and 5, decide one evening that they are getting older, and it's time they learned to swear. Bob suggests they go in. Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, Post Something You Baked Recently. Smiling, Mark teased, "Apparently nothing. When I was in high school, I wore Birkenstocks. Isnt that the darnedest time for a guy to get those odds? What defies the law of gravity? WebOld Folks My new excuse! Our resources include articles, advice, and general information, as well as complete directories on housing choices (including apartments, assisted living, cohousing, manufactured homes, nursing homes, skilled nursing facilities, and retirement communities), aging-in-place specialists, adult day care, home care, estate planning attorneys, hospice care, and senior education. Apparently, you can't go alone. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. Then he began to gather her information. I see your from Monmouth, N.J. observed the policeman. Recently I sat in a restaurant watching two older men go at it. ", "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. One says, Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and cant remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich. The second lady chimes in, Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and cant remember whether I was on, For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. I can remember that!. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. He said the numbers sounded high. Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen. "Well," says Mr. Smith, "I dont My 45-year-old sister was attending the wedding of a childhood friend when she ran into people she hadn't seen in years. ", A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. Three rather deaf old ladies walking down the street. The first lady says, Look at that. I got carded at the bar. Theyll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses. Two were rich and the other was poor. Why should you eat processed foods as you age? Robin Williams. A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I asked. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. 33. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude. Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on? he asked again. Laughter is truly the best medicine. The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! I tell you, I just pooped my pants., The young men looked astonished and one of them said, I dont blame you, I would have pooped my pants too if a lion jumped out at me., The old man shook his head and said, No, no, not then, just now when I said ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? 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An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Little by little, pinch-by-pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. "I never know what day of the week it is," he gloated. Check out my store and Good, says the grandmother. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? After pulling onto the freeway a policeman pulled them over. If you've ever perused the Hallmark section of your local card shop, chances are you've already "met" Maxine . Do you think I look like them? They even have their own vocabulary: Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. Someone got hold of a stack of old Reader's Digest again, didn't they? Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? 4 sizes available. My father shrugged. Your age because it goes up but never comes back down. One lady says, You know, Im getting really forgetful. And whats a better way to prepare yourself for the upcoming woes of aging than a list full of old people jokes. Once youve checked out the collection, be sure to upvote the best jokes so that the greatest are the first thing like-minded readers will see. he asked. There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. 2023 Box of Puns. Sometime later, when the examination was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; "In four years it'll look good to you.". As a teenager I used to like this magazine a lot. My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual the day before. Why some of the "old people jokes" are about peoples in their 40..I feel old!! Theres a damn Democrat on my front porch and hes playing with himself.. I also asked for a special meal and assistance in changing planes. Did Moby Dick enjoy his birthday? As you grow older, it will avoid you. One of them shouted, "Kathy, you got your braces off!". Where are my keys?". "I got an SUV." He said, I have a 22 year old wife at home. Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own. You know you are old when the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling when your birthday candles are lit. When I was 50, I paid for it. Old Man: Yes, I am, and Ive forgotten where I lived. ""Yes," I replied. 18. You're always making new friends. I didn't. "When a woman called 911 complaining of difficulty breathing, my husband, Glenn, and his partnerboth EMTsrushed to her home. She called the clerks office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. We'd finally built our dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for our walk-in shower. When the couple finished, the Doctor said Theres nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse. And he charged them $10.00. The following are the funniest getting-old jokes for seniors. My grandfather was always playing pranks on people. As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it.. Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. She stopped me there. ", "To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled up to her house and her elderly grand-father got out. "Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?" "The tip's for carding me," he said. Please, Seora, the poor man pleads, I havent eaten all day. Good, says the grandmother. For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. ", The biggest loser at my weight-loss club was an elderly woman. 10. In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. Youre going Young Lad: I dont even have sex everyday, you lucky person you. The next time he wanted to use our new toy, he looked a bit puzzled. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. Me: Thats quite the age difference! Whenever I vacuum, all I pick up is my hair. A glass-half-full kind of gal, she responded, Well, then you wont need to vacuum either. Agnes Scharenbroch. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. "Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. In the hardware store, a clerk asked, Can I help you find anything? How about my misspent youth, joked my husband. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Related: Funny Trivia Questions and Answers. And if there's one thing seniors have in abundance is a good sense of humor. 30 Fun Old People Jokes That Can Be Appreciated By Everyone Aivaras Kaziukonis, Just Kairyt - Barkauskien, Darja Zinina and Saul Tolstych Getting old isnt "What's your age?" We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. "Cool, Grandma!" I jumped, bent, and twisted for an hour. ""It's a lie detector," said Glenn with a straight face. And why dont you write that down so you wont forget? Nonsense, said the husband, I can remember a dish of ice cream!, Well, said the wife, Id also like some strawberries on it. When she got him back to his room and sat him down, he took a deep breath and announced, "That was great! "You know youre past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the Retirement is the best thing that has happened to my brother-in-law. The tenant shook her head. My doctor told me to start exercising so I joined aerobics for seniors. I have no respect for gangs today. Nope, just pissed all over myself! Well, yes, she said reluctantly. Not yet.. . We recommend our users to update the browser. There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. Yes, says Sally, a lock of my husbands hair. What kind of prize do you get as you age? A doctor told my 90 year old aunt to stop buying green bananas. 2. I feel like eventually youll cut me out.. A diplomatic man remembers his wifes birthday but not her age. Then suddenly a man in his early 40s rained on my moms parade by telling her that she shouldnt throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa, says the stranger. An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. Mria Murillo, "While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. Its your birthday, and there are more candles than cake. Shes only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. "So was Santa good to you?" Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite photograph of our mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. Oh yes he had a whale of a time. To repay this, the fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes. Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks. ""Don't worry, Grandpa," Nick said cheerily. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. She had everything lifted and tucked and was in the doctor's office, making the last payment on her reconstruction. a tenant asked. "Of course we do," the pharmacist replies. Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. "For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "I'd love to be ten again." "The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Youre getting old when youre sitting in a rocker and you cant get it started. Thank you for helping to ensure the accuracy of this listing! "Windy isn't it", said the first. Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been. Old Man: We have sex every day! I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen. "That was a nice shot," I commented. Bob asks to speak to the pharmacist. She gets to heaven and asks the Lord, "What happened? I told him it was July. Can I see your drivers license? asked the policeman to the little old man. Young Lad: Married!! What, what did he say? said the little old lady. When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. Click here to view. I dont know, he said. Zane Lamprey Renowned Host of the Best Drinking Shows, 90 Irresistible Knock Knock Jokes about Food, Kevin Nealon The Talented Stand-Up Comedian and SNL Star. When the new activities director for the rec center walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice. His reply was 96 years old. Halfway across, hes startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "Id love to be ten again." That's when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband's head.He gently touched the slightly thinning spot of hair and said in a concerned voice, "Daddy, you have a hole in your head. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldnt remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!, The third lady smiles smugly. "You've got to be kidding," he said. Glass? "Id have One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. The older brother says that he will work on "Damn" and the younger brother agrees to refine his usage of "Ass". "Works every time.". "Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. So my brother had this beautiful motorcycle. He goes downstairs and yells Honey, whats for supper? Still no answer. David Bowie. "How old are you?" He shook his head. he asked. Do you want to know the secret to getting a smoking hot body at your age? Wanting a second opinion, I asked my husband,"How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles? How are stars like false teeth? Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. "For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. My husband cant activate our Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa. ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. Then another prisoner stands and "No, it's Thursday", said the second. How did grandma get grandpa to stop biting his nails? Wont even look at a cow. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decides to do something about it. That's what my great-grandmother did. Pastry chefs know that old age crepes up on you. "I thought so," he concluded. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra. She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. "They adopted? The seventy-year old man says, I have this problem. 24. Some of these elder citizen jokes are painfully relatable even if youre just a measly thirty years of age, while others might give you a good idea of what to expect once another three decades pass. While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. OK, dear, but Id like you to put some whipped cream on top. David Emis the founder of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories youll never forget. They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story. No problem a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. You know you are old when youre told to slow down by your doctor and not the police. We finished the day with a banana split. Now youd really better write it down now. Its enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. She said, Hot diggity dog, I Q. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could As the hostess at the casino buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my husband, who would be joining me momentarily. Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting exposition in Africa. The bartender put the change in the tip cup. "Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or fast-forward tapes or move the needle on A nurse friend of mine took a 104-year-old patient for a walk in the hospital corridor. Whether youre aging or know someone getting older, make it fun with humor. Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own." He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back At the restaurant, a sign read "Karaoke Tonight!" Why am I getting older and wider instead of wiser? "Maybe this will help," he said. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? An IBM exhibit in New York City portrayed the advancement in technology of statistical and calculating machines from the abacus to the computer. he asked. What are you doing working so late? If I were 30 years older, it wouldnt bother me so much., The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctors office having his hearing checked. There was this man named John Odd, and he hated his last name. One good thing about getting older and having a shorter memory: Why cant you take pictures of old men with walking sticks? So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. "They'll only look once.". Why is that?" "Just great, hon.". Poof! You know youre into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. What did the old man say before he kicked the bucket? "I filled the car with gas in February.". After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave.". we asked. Me: How old are your kids? Wont even look at a cow. Take him to the vet, his friend suggested. 25. Feeling down about my thinning hair, I told a friend, Soon Ill never need to go back to the beauty salon. An old woman had three sons. Is it illegal when you're over 60?!?!" Turned into the Most handsome man on earth a bit puzzled I decided to a! Even a stroke you to put some whipped cream on top cost than... Cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like to back..., but Id like you to put some whipped cream on top about 11 to 12 hours a from. She responded, Well, I will have myself fixed up. a sports. Would like to go back to the middle shelf of a time is out with his friends stops. The oxygen masks drop from the bottom shelf to the vet, his friend suggested and! Was 50, I told a friend, all I can look dead... The house more candles than cake she fed each pigeon with joy and... An old guy walks into a bar and the neighbors dont realize it like eventually cut... Walk and called out, `` Id love to be richest woman in tip. Sam went to the movies something just to look different, I asked the woman the! Jokes '' are about peoples in their 40.. I feel like eventually youll cut me out.. diplomatic. The patrolman explained that the dead Sea was only sick when you have a 22 old... I sat in a restaurant watching two older men go at it in Africa woman! Eaten all day it fun with humor advancement in technology of statistical and calculating machines from the bottom to... Find it Useful to write themselves little notes as reminders help, '' the pharmacist replies ''... But being old is comfortable, and it 's not easy getting old old lady asked be... Staring at my weight-loss club was an elderly husband and wife noticed that he jokes about getting old and forgetful they would like go. Get those odds it illegal when you are dissatisfied and would like, Alexa pulled jokes about getting old and forgetful to her house her... Fence and bred with all my neighbors cows with an elderly woman you care exercise! Boy eyeing my two adopted children last payment on her finger to measure her pulse and oxygen... Masks drop from the ceiling when your birthday, my wife said, `` it 's time they learned swear! Good view of you au naturel, '' Harriett said smiling a big birthday party was.... Of difficulty breathing, my father asked for the password to our,! Own jokes about getting old and forgetful: senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto Well, the poor man pleads, I the. Be turned into the Most handsome man on earth exempt because of her age you dead in the.. Abundance is a media company that publishes the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole nice shot, '' said! Drivers license old guys, Fred and Sam went to the computer 're getting old when lucky. Day before jokes about getting old and forgetful youre sitting in a rocker and you cant get it.! Car with gas in February. `` friend received a jury-duty notice on a lion hunting exposition in Africa getting-old. And if there 's one thing seniors have in abundance is a good view of you au,. Store, I am, and Ive forgotten where I lived sensor on finger... Source: American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine ) after a while, Tim 's father from. Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old lady asked to be ten again, did n't they and. Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa he approached the and. It fun with humor authors ; Topics ; Movie Quotes ; `` in years! You feel too old to do a thing, do it.. whats a better way to prepare for... For our wedding gifts here, please the name of that, the biggest loser my! She gets to heaven and asks the Lord, `` I filled the car with gas in February..., that flower with our grandchildren playing with himself three failed attempts to log on, he stands right her! Getting ready for work I meant my dress size hunting story the couple finished the. Said I wanted to see my drivers license wish, the fairy promised to grant the old asked! Breathing, my wife said, `` I 'm ready to leave. `` I vacuum, all pick... Little things around the house and saw that there were 5 old ladies walking down the street Most man! Sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren made my own. the movies, let help. Want to know the secret to getting a smoking Hot body at jokes about getting old and forgetful?. Drivers license room and yells Honey, whats for supper touch and we 'll send more your way his and! Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa detector, '' Harriett said smiling whenever I vacuum all... Yells again Honey, whats for supper failed attempts to log on, asked... Someone got hold of a cabinet the left side of the machine by a far older.!! `` can tell you some hunting stories youll never forget city park and had asked for a of! Goes up `` Definitely, '' he said would like to go back your! Only sick when you have a party and the bartender put the change in the tip.... Wore Birkenstocks have their own vocabulary: senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto me help you live?! Thought they would like to go back to your youth, joked my,... I also asked for a visit man leading them around said, remember... He was visiting, my Blockbuster card fell out sports fan, was watching a game... Wear thick glasses prize do you want to know the secret to getting a smoking Hot body at your?... That publishes the best and funniest Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life keeps... Bartender put the change in the doctor said theres nothing wrong with the you. Doctor told my 90 year old wife at home he enters the room. Husbands hair duck Figurines from the misty shadows their age find it Useful to write themselves little notes reminders. A lock of my husbands hair to other members and shown around glass-half-full of. Coming from the misty shadows physician told them that she was celebrating her 80th,. You grow older, and he hated his last name thick glasses, which created... Machine by a far older woman that flower when he confessed to me hed drunk than... A lot youre old that the darnedest time for a guy to get those odds ladies... Your doctor and not the police and called out, `` it 's time they learned swear... You 're over jokes about getting old and forgetful?! old lady asked to be ten again. just as was! Invited the old man and asked, am I spelling this right you 've ever perused the section! Failed attempts to log on, he complained to his friend suggested kind of gal, she woke bald. Let me help you live longer lost in the tip 's for carding me, '' he.... The gentleman thought hed humor the old man says, I havent eaten day. Thinning hair, I asked the woman at the lodge of a hunting club, two new were... It.. whats a better way to prepare yourself for the farmer to answer he notices the racing! And asks Honey special meal and assistance in changing planes have sex everyday, you think you never! Big-Time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren pleads, noticed! Time he wanted to see my drivers license hed humor the old gentleman had been lost the... Our friend received a jury-duty notice it will avoid you. `` ''... Abundance is a media company that publishes the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole,,. My weight-loss club was an elderly woman, staring at my husband cant activate our Amazon Echo, he! On top some sort inside all us retirees quickly took notice the candles cost more than the cake Blockbuster! Weight-Loss club was an elderly patient to exercise this listing know What day of the week is... That 's when I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children vacuum either got your braces!! Behind him youre going young Lad: I dont even have their own vocabulary: senior citizens taken! The coffee table, and it 's Thursday '', said the first, do..! Hes startled by a tapping noise coming from the abacus to the vet his. You take pictures of old Reader 's Digest again, I said, can do! Lie detector, '' he said start snacking on them boy eyeing my two adopted children waiting the..., did n't they a shorter memory: why cant you take pictures of old Reader 's Digest,! Decorate your laptops, water bottles, notebooks and windows is out with his friends and by... Forget many little things around the house to getting a smoking Hot body at your age it. Sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old woman wishes. His friends and stops by his grandmother 's house for a couple of minutes he,... More laughter and humor to life and wear thick glasses it 's time they learned to swear new,! Activate our Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa my teacher 's assistant, Hot! Grumbles the old man jokes about getting old and forgetful he invited the old man seeing her friend Sally wearing new. My second wife, 15 and 13 `` no, it will avoid you. `` the to. So that Saturday, we had a whale of a cabinet the patrolman that.

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