When he's with me. Try to sit back and be proud of yourself! But early nappers are often cranky during the hour that precedes bedtime the very hour that you arrive home from work. I?m thinking to move away from his grandparent so that they can only visit from time to time, but I?m worried it will affect him. up at night, etc) but when our baby sees his dad he smiles and knows that for the next 20-30 minutes dear daddy is going to throw him up in the air and play. Now at 10 months old, she treated me with the same fondness and love that she had showed my husband during her early months. His Aunt told me its just a novelty for him. Create boundaries and routines that support ample family and . I just could not take time off so his grandparents (his fathers parents) have stayed with him. I hope you've enjoyed today's post! Even though i always play with him and tell him stories and sing to hime and he always sleep holding his hands around my neck . During the COVID-19 pandemic, the number of women in the workforce fell by 500,000 more than men.And in early 2022, Deloitte reported that 53% of women had higher stress levels than the previous year. Very scary! Therefore, the mom has a place to turn to when trying to make food for her family after a busy day and within a short time. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment, and then cry, laugh, journal or call a friend. it is breaking my heart. Why is a Toddler rejecting Mom after a new baby arrives? I am a working mom and I leave her with her caretaker during the day since she was 2 months old. I feel to so down at the min that Ive been thinking of running away and letting him have the kids while I start again somewhere else, they never want me anyways so doubt they would miss me (my son is now 4). Then she totally ignores me and even if I try to play with her she ends up going to my mom. After reading all of your stories, I am much more motivated to keep trying to connect with my daughter. Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. From all the comments that I read, we all seem to have one more thing in common, we all show our love & affection to our babies so they definitely know they are loved.. I am with him most of anyone. When toddlers reject their mothers, it's either one of the three reasons explained above. If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. Or that babies dont do that. I work very part time 3 days a week for a total of 16 hours. Does anyone have any success stories in terms of their baby eventually being more bonded to them? Im so happy he still wants to breastfeed though and didnt completely write me off but he just doesnt seem happy to see me like he did his daddy and that hurts so much especially since I cried cause I missed him so much. He no longer cries for his daddy, scrambles over me to get to his daddy, forgets about me once his daddy gets home and is really happy to cuddle/kiss/hug me just as much as his daddy. A two-year-old is demanding and it is his job to figure out what the world is like, which certainly includes a lot of testing and protesting. This phenomenon of opting out is actually not widespread. Id say that is completely normal! He just screams in my arms. it is even worse when people keep saying that she only starts screaming and crying whenever i am home and that she is a superbly happy baby when i am at work. Try and make him happy. Here is a little bit about me and my situation (I am very interested if anyone else can relate to me) I was a bit older when I had my son (33 years old) I had a C-section with complications which meant I couldnt be with my son until 3 hours after his birth. I am a stay at home mom and breastfed for 6 months and he still preferred his dad. And you seem to interpret your daughters behavior as if she is blaming you. Consider your overall financial picture. My gal is nw 8 1/2 mths . There are so many nights when I would cry myself to sleep from the heartbreak and helplessness that I feel. Your toddler has been used to having mom all to themselves. That is wonderful for your little daughter! well, its not. When he comes home, her face glows in a way that its never glowed for me. She was with me mornings and nights. Mine is something similar. It is incredibly painful to feel rejected, so there is nothing wrong or silly about your feelings. But unless one is emotionally stable, it can be almost impossible. For example, are we all prone to depression or were all our babies C-sections, or what are our living arrangements/work arrangements? On the Internet Viral Reddit Baby Family. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. Please help..I think I am loosing my mind.. Especially living in India just because the Home Office is not convinced I?m married and have a son. A lot of research has found the childs first 3 years to be the most important for bonding, so you still have a lot time. My boys are my life and i am so grateful that i am their mom! Just being honest with you. My daughter doesnt cry when she is with me but she just doesnt want to cuddle or be close. One thing's for sure: he wants nothing to do with you. No that he is born she is so pushy, she since birth has whisked him away when he would cry and always play with him more than me and he seems to bond or smile or laugh more with her. this week she turned 9 months and she has somehow attached herself to my mom. People do crazy things in separations. She is also my miracle child since I have a problem to conceive. It did break my heart. there babys there used to those that give them there needs and time and attention Im going on my 3rd baby and what i find affective is how the care provider response when you get there Im always excited and hug and kiss daddy when he is home and thats how my children respond they love daddy but when they want or need something its always mommy and believe me some time i want it to be daddy, MY YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PREFERS ANYONE BUT ME, EVEN THO I BREAST FEED, AND DO EVERYTHING FOR HER IN GENERAL, I TRY NO TO SPOIL HER BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY DAUGHTER, GRAND DAUGHTER, NICE AND SO ON I NEVER HAD A POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION SO IT CANT BE THATIM LAID OFF SO IM WITH HER 24/7 NO ONE HAS EVER BABY SET HER I DONT HAVE MY PARENTS NEAR OR ANY FAMILY, BUT MY HUSBAND FAMILY COME OVER AROUND TWICE A WEEK I ALWAYS WANTED HER TO BE OPEN WITH PEOPLE AND NOT TO BE SHY SO I THAGTH HER TO LOVE EVERY ONE ESPECIALLY HER GRANDMOTHER BUT NOW I THINK I DID MISTAKE WITH THAT BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT SHE DOESNT LOVE ME ANY MORE :( IS DEPRESSING ME NOW PLEASE HELP ME..IAM OPEN TO ANY ADVICES THANK YOU. And when he wakes up at night he always looks for his dad and when I want to hold him he pushes my hands away. Kiss him and love him non stop. I am worried my baby will have emotional problems in the future ? It does feel like all I am used for is food and diaper change. I had him when I was 38 yrs old and have been a hands on mum all his life. I have watched them interact from a distance and she smiles, dances, and plays with him. And you know, even that is a proof of love; children almost never misbehave with adults they dont have a tight bond with. I have recently returned to work and have put her in a nursery 3 mornings a week in the afternoons on these days she goes to either grandmas and then I collect her on the 3rd day. It broke my heart. Maybe you can decide that she goes out a couple of evenings a week, so that you can keep 100% focus on having a good time with your daughter. If anything, it will harm the situation more. Breast refusal tip #8: Try a different feeding position. Such a silly situation. The answer is yes, although breastfeeding after returning to work is definitely trickier in some situations. Whats more heart breaking, is my partner totally doesnt take my feelings seriously.& when i was trying hard, hell come & spoils her by taking her back to his own hands. Please help if you have passed this phase. Within one week of my twin girls being born , I was posted overseas on a 2 yr project, and get home only one week every three months Because of the location it is just not realistic to take my wife and babies, and when I get home, both my babies just start to cry when I go near them, this tends to last most of the week.. Apart from leaving my job, is there any advice you can give me. And if he doesnt want to be with you for 15 minutes, in the beginning, make it add up to 15 minutes even if it is only 2 minutes each time. He didnt want to talk to his dad when he was with his mom either. i feeed her ok but after a feed she now just turns over away from me. Daddy stays home with her now and she is so attached to him. Theres even a song that we all sing together as a family since my husband left. I felt so upset, My 18 month baby boy really likes his dad than me. Im going back to work next month so I started bottle fed baby at 2.5 mo 3 weeks ago. Lets look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! She just wants me to go away from her. Also remind yourself over and over again, that your daughters ability to bond with and socialize with more that one person is a healthy sign of her being secure and developing mentally. What should I do Please help. She gets hysterical if I take her off him. I often wonder if it was like a viscious circle: he didnt want me, I got upset, he didnt want to be around me because I was upset, which made me more upset, which made him even less inclined to be around me and so on and so on. I cant stop crying. thank you to anonymous who wrote most recently saying that it has gotten better. I thought I was doing the best thing for myself and my daughter. Children are not there to build our self-esteem, they cant and often wont, especially if we expect them to act in a certain way, or to be thankful or loving, because we treat them well. (cross-post with Working Moms) I go back to work in a week and my 2.5 month old daughter refuses to take bottles. Im ready to walk but want to be there for my children & my girlfriend is due again in December with another little boy. I feel so down. (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). My daughter is constantly wanting my attention and is not happy when im not around. There isnt anything I wouldnt do for her. Ive struggled with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicidality, anger and low self-esteem my entire life. Within a week I was less upset and things were turning around. But in your case, I would say that this is not a relevant worry! And then I would try to get busy with something else and just basically not make a bigger deal than it already was for me. There are a few things I would like to say to you. Skin contact is great for bonding. Take naps together, take a bath together, just go down on the floor (if it isnt too uncomfortable) and play together. He is all for his grandad cause he treats him like his own son (but isnt that my job.) You may be feeling a range of emotions about being away from your baby, all while getting used to a new daily routine that might involve busier mornings, daycare drop . When she is scared or hurt she wont even allow me to go near her she calls for my mom. 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